[Americana excerpt: Two NYTimes pundits converse during/about university commencement season ...]

Hold On to Your Hats, America, a conversation between by Gail Collins and Bret Stephens, The New York Times, May 13, 2024

Credit...Michael M. Santiago/Getty Images; JB: image illustrating this dialogue

Ms. Collins and Mr. Stephens are Opinion columnists. They converse every week .

Bret Stephens: Hi, Gail. It’s commencement season, though at least a few ceremonies are being canceled on account of all the protests. If you were giving a graduation address, what would you say?

Gail Collins: Well, I’ve given a commencement address or two in my time, but even when things were troubled, I could tell that most of the audience was hoping I’d make them laugh. Just in a way that made them feel it was OK to celebrate their achievements by having a good time with their families and friends. 

Bret: Last time I spoke to a graduating class, I tried to compare great arguments to great sex. Not sure how that one went over.

Gail: Wish I had been in the audience for that. Don’t know exactly what I’d say to the current graduates, except that I’d congratulate them for having made it through a time of international turmoil, where both presumptive presidential nominees were almost old enough to be their great-grandfathers.

You? 

Bret: I’d urge them to do everything they can to cultivate an inner life, especially since social media is always trying to suck it out of them. Commit great poems to heart, starting with those by Gerard Manley Hopkins and Edna St. Vincent Millay. Recite them aloud on solitary walks. Compose dirty limericks in your head. Read more for pleasure, less for purpose. Read, immediately, Marguerite Yourcenar’s “Memoirs of Hadrian.” Imitate the writers or artists you most admire; you’ll find your own voice and style in all the ways your imitation falls short. Don’t post self-indulgent glam shots of yourself on Instagram, and please stop photographing your damn meals.

Gail: Unless you cooked them — if you’re being creative in the kitchen, it’s like trying to write a poem. Not that I’m any good at either. 

Bret: Fair point.

Also: Think of TikTok as your generation’s cocaine and get off it. Work hard on keeping a few good friendships, not gaining thousands of followers. Eschew envy, cynicism and virtue signaling. Ponder the meaning of the word “hineni.” Make only enough money so that you don’t have to think about it much. Preserve an independence of mind and spirit, and nurture a contrarian opinion or two, especially if it goes against your own political side.

Gail: Go, Bret. 

Bret: Reserve the right to change your mind — and really do it from time to time. Never join a cause if you aren’t fully familiar with the argument against it. Heed the words of Rabbi Hillel: “Where there are no men, be thou a man.” Or woman. Don’t equate success with fame or fame with happiness. Find your core satisfaction in a soul mate, not a career. Laugh more, mostly at yourself. What have I missed?

Gail: That’s pretty damn good, especially the laughing part. But I’m not going to go so far as to suggest student protesting is a bad or silly idea. Maybe I’d say: Don’t ruin the day for your friends who’ve brought their parents over from Cleveland for one special moment they’ve been looking forward to for ages. ...